#I'm stressed I'm stressed I'm stressed and feel trapped

[enhaeil]

Jay’s response to you taking off your ring during an argument

ACT LIKE THAT! ☆ 박종성

"how you gonna up and leave me now how you gonna act like that? how you gonna change it up? we just finished makin' up... how you gonna act like that?"

how you gonna act like that - tyrese

c/w: angst, arguing and im in love w jay

it's as if a grey cloud is sitting over your once happy home. the bed is colder, the conversations are dry, and the goodbyes are quiet.

you can't even remember the last time you put the 'i' in front of 'love you'.

but you knew you loved him. you know the man you married and you know how good it could be. "it's just a bump in the road, that's all." is what you keep telling yourself, until it finally caused a crash.

"i just feel like you don't even want to be in this relationship anymore, y/n. i try to talk to you, but you shut me out. when i hold you, it feels distant. when i try to make love to you, you always push me off. do you even love me?" he says, still keeping his voice at a decent level.

"do i love you? of course, I love you, jay. if anything, i should be asking you that. when's the last time you've actually tried to do any of that? you barely look at me." your chest feels tight. your voice is rising, and it feels like you can't control it.

"i look at you all the time, y/n you're my wife. don't try to flip this on me when you're the one who's been distant." he says, taking a seat on the couch to ground himself.

"sure, jay. you look at me. whatever. but are you really seeing me ? i'm miserable, jay. i'm unhappy. i'm going through it. i feel trapped in my own house, and then I have to go outside and face it too. i should be able to at least come home to a husband who acts like he cares about me."

that was the pin to the balloon. for the first time, jay raises his voice at you. and you don't like it one bit.

"fine, y/n. if i'm such a bad husband, why're we married then?" he shouts before his brain could even process his words.

he wants to take it back. he wants to stand up and hold you, but his legs won't move.

before he could, you're out of his sight, and he hears your bedroom door shut. god, he's such an idiot.

jay gives it some time. not just for him to collect his thoughts, but for you to collect yours. he knew both of you were stressed, but not to this point.

he finally heads upstairs, carefully opening the door. he hears the shower running and lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

he scans the room, looking at the box of tissues sitting on the nightstand, a sign of the tears he made you shed that night, his chest tightening at the thought.

he noticed something sparkling next to it, causing him to step closer.

the ring he spent hours choosing, because he knew you didn't deserve just any regular ring. the ring he gracefully placed on your finger on your special day. the ring he's pressed kisses against absentmindedly, a promise to each other, sitting on the nightstand.

he didn't think you would take his words to heart. he knows why you two are married. he knows why you chose to stay with him even when he hasn't been the best husband. he plays with the diamond band in his hand as thoughts race through his head.

he doesn't even hear the shower cut off or the door opening as he sits on the edge of the bed, staring at the ring in his hand.

steams follows you as you leave the bathroom, hair damp and towel wrapped around you, yet once you spot jay, you tightened it as if he'd never seen you more vulnerable.

"j-jay ... can you step out, i wanna get dressed." you say, voice quiet and hoarse.

his heart breaks even more, hearing that. "don't be like that, y/n. please." he says desperately.

a moment of silence passes, before he lets out a shaky sigh. "you took your ring off." he says letting out a dry chuckle.

your heart sinks. you'd never thought it would get here, seeing the man you love, broken.

"i'm sorry, jay. i didn't know what to do and- and i was angry, and i-"

"i haven't stopped loving you, ever, y/n. i'm sorry that i failed to show you that. and whatever I did wrong, i'll fix it. i'll talk to you all night, i'll work from home if you need me to. but whatever you do, please don't leave me."

you don't miss the way a stray tear falls from jay's eyes, and without thinking, your feet move towards him. you wipe the tears that now fall freely from his eyes, throat becoming dry at the sight.

"jay, i was never going to leave. i was upset, and i wasn't thinking when i took it off. you are my everything, and i'm so sorry that I pushed you away or made you feel less than that."

it's quiet again as jay pulls you into his lap, head laid on your towel covered chest, listening to the sound of your heartbeat.

he slides the ring back to your finger, back where it belongs. as he returns the diamond to its home, he recites his wedding vows like a prayer.

"i promise that when it feels like the world is attacking you, i'll never join in; i'll love you even harder."

a/n: i could write abt jay for hours and hours and hourssss mind you ... he hasn't been my bias since like 2021 ITS BEEN ONLY NIKI THIS WHOLE TIME . yet i have zero niki fics posted uh hello!

[alexanderlightweight]

Work absolutely sucks right now. Micromanagement from corporate to a whole new level, and I'm so tired and feel like I'm being gaslit. And no matter how much I try to boost their spirits, my staff have already shed some tears from the stress. Hell, I want to cry sometimes.

So, for Writing Wednesday? Something fun?

Maybe happy Malec in Tethers of Fate (which I adore even if it didn't get enough love in your poll), either while Magnus was wooing Alec at the Spiral Labyrinth or after they're wed?

Or indulgent Malec in Taste of Your Magic. I love Dragon!Alec and Cat!Magnus and navigating their cultural differences. And something about Alec doing everything he can to stay in Magnus' presence is just lovely and cozy.

Or domestic Bitter Trap of Truth. There is something almost silly fun about Magnus being paranoid while Alec is just living his best life bc he gets to indulge in his pretty husband.

I think I would prefer NSFW but I will be just as happy with SFW if that's not what you're feeling like.

Thank you 💙

okay so, that sounds absolutely like a completely and total fucking nightmare. and It sounds like you're trying to keep it together for everyone around you who are barely holding on, while also trying to hold on but having to be the strong one. and if you feel like you're being gaslit then you're probably being gaslit. is there someone you know who has your back you can present the situation to? someone who can be protective of you (because that is important, it makes up for the works lack of protection) and look at something somewhat objectively?

because in a position like a job where work often doesn't care about the workers, please remember to add a little extra to your 'i'm allowed these boundaries' since you need to compensate for what work should but doesn't do. I really hope things get better because no one should be going through that and its awful that you're having to both go through it and protect others going through it but also good job for trying to protect others because that is wonderful and you're doing amazing even when it feels like it's not enough! okay! you're trying your damned best!!

oh gosh, I promise I was teasing about the pole! I was surprised because i've had a lot of prompts concerning it, but it also made sense because pray to the hunters is pretty intensely loved even though I thought it would be pretty out of everyones comfort zone. I love to be wrong in these scenarios tho. but also tethers is a pretty domestic fic so far and I think that influences things because less intrigue in some ways?

i'm connecting dots like I know what i'm doing but there may not even be a picture lol

um I promise that this is happy. Magnus and Alec have a mutually teasing slightly not actually antagonistic flirtationship going on in this verse before they settle domestically. but also Alec is very much a brat in this fic. also he knows he's a brat but also he was kind of spoiled as a kid and he's fine with it. so like when Alec seems like a yowling cat he's actually pretty fucking pleased

Magnus adores his brat and doesn't mind the bratting but also he has goals. because otherwise Magnus might not ever see alec again once he leaves.

uhm NSFW and kinky blowjobs with blood kink and claiming and marking and shit, 3DNE probably knowing how I write

I hope you enjoy <3 which always feels hilarious to write on smut but like I say the same on everything.

oh this is Magnus wooing Alec in the spiral labyrinth. which is a very delicate trap to create.

... I promise malec is happy they're just kinky i'm sorry. 100% send me an ask if this didn't send the vibes you needed

lumine

tethers of fate

“Hello darling, don’t you look charming.” 

And Alexander does, despite the fact that Magnus wants to wipe away the glitter shimmering on his cheekbones or burn away the little crown of vines on his brow.

Those are claims of Arawn. Physical symbols of his ties to Alexander and also the unseelie king’s claim on the wild magic that flows through Alexander’s veins as if it were blood.

Magnus catches a brown curl around his finger and twines it, pulling it in a little tug before letting it go.  There’s barely any spring to it but his fingers ache to return and so he does, memorizing every pattern and curl on Alexander’s head as his darling diligently reads a scroll.

Finally, when Magnus is beginning to feel like he’ll run out of patience before he runs out of hair, Alexander looks up.

The green specks of his eyes are enchanting, a vibrant, insidious green that lurks in a kaleidoscope of hazel colors.  It’s unnatural and enticing, as are the strange vine and bone tattoos that spread across Alexander’s body.

“For someone who told me to read this scroll, you’re not exactly making it easy.” 

Magnus ignores the taunt because why on earth would he ever make anything easy for Alexander when he could instead make it fun.

“The scroll will still be there tomorrow, but who knows when we’ll next have a moment together. Tell me, what is your full name, darling?” Because while Alexander may not be a fae in blood, he is fae in nature.

Alexander looks at him curiously, clearly wondering why Magnus wants to know but unaware that he’s beholden by the same rules of Arawn’s court.

“No one knows.” Is the answer he’s given and Alexander’s lips quirk mischievously, “I came to tad with my name and nothing else. All other titles are presents and honors bestowed upon me.”

Magnus pretends to believe him and leave it at that for now and instead upends the bag he’d brought with him on the desk. Letting a series of magical instruments fall across the surface.

“Oh, what are these?” Alexander sounds delighted, that cat-like curiosity of his ignited the moment Magnus touches anything or brings him something. 

Magnus watches as Alexander’s hand wavers over a witchlight for a moment before he quickly moves his palm, yet it’s enough for Magnus to see the soft glow that forms and fades almost too quickly to see.

Alexander is running his fingers over a wind-whistle and it’s clear he’s trying to be nonchalant, the tips of his ears pink and the furrow of his brow overly pronounced.

But Magnus saw it and in a move that should be impossible Magnus strokes against Alexander’s aura with a drop of grace, defiled though it may be. Against his magic Magnus feels the soul-touch of a nephilim bloom and he pauses, hardly daring to believe he was right.

It shouldn’t be possible, but Magnus has spent enough time around and helping Tessa to unearth hidden secrets meant to be forgotten.

Arawn’s favored son is nephilim blooded.  

No wonder he’s so rabidly protective of Alexander.  No matter how it came about, it happened and Alexander’s a walking treasure trove of pure wild magic and raw power that could overpower most rituals that would drain others. Not only that, he has the kind of power in his blood that people would kill for.

“Alexander,” Magnus purrs, because it’s more important than ever that he gets answers. “You must have some idea of what your name was. Who you are, at your core.”

Alexander laughs, unaware of Magnus’ realization and ignoring Magnus’ attempts to cut into him, as if the thought has never occurred or mattered to him.

“I have dozens of names from my kin and a title only my father knows. The kind of name you speak of is unimportant with the wealth I have. Who I am, at my core, is a child of Arawn and that will never change no matter a name.”

Magnus realizes that he means it. 

Whatever life Alexander has and is living, it’s fulfilling enough that he doesn’t care who he is, who he was born to be. For Magnus who has run from his lineage but always comes back to it, it’s an odd perspective and it makes his plans more difficult. 

Magnus carefully and casually locks the wards of the library into place. He has permission, not only as an Elder and king but specifically since he’s considered a lure for Alexander.

The council wants to maintain access to Alexander and once he’s done studying here, Magnus doubts Arawn will let him come back. It took contracts and oaths sworn and vows upheld for the unseelie king to allow it at all and that was before the Elder’s realized the gem that Alexander is.

The moment the Elder’s realized that Magnus wanted Alexander and that the interest and chemistry was mutual, they gave Magnus full reign of their resources. Ever better, rather than simply give him access to research, they’re letting him woo Alexander while they research for him.

Every night Magnus retires to his room here and finds a desk full of rituals, some he knows, others he’s vaguely heard of and still more he’s never seen before.  All in the hopes that he will find a ritual that can tie Alexander to him in a way that Arawn cannot cut.

It only works because Magnus’ interest is selfish. For personal greed and desire, a lust and interest that focuses on Alexander as an individual rather than his powers, that allow them to circumvent the oaths this much at all.

Arawn cut off every avenue to his son but the routes of emotions and carnal hunger.

The elder’s don’t even know that Alexander is nephil blooded and yet, to try and give Magnus every opportunity — they’ve even been providing him rituals that will work on those with not just angelic but specifically nephil blood. Just that morning Magnus had memorized a diagram he’d thought would be useless but now he realizes he can use it this moment, as blood calls to blood.

Magnus lets power swell in his veins and then he kisses Alexander, harshly and hastily.  A storm finally unleashed as magic pools beneath his skin and Alexander meets him, laughing and wild and just as fierce as he kisses back.

Their teeth clash, fangs equally sharp and cutting on each other’s lips and tongues and blood smears between them as a diagram forms in the staccato beat of their pounding hearts. A name Magnus shouldn’t know and he knows is dangerous to say lingers on his tongue, coated in the blood he coaxed from Alexander’s mouth and when he pulls back he laughs.

Alexander smiles at him, already healed, his pink tongue licking away the remaining red on his lips. It’s clear he knows Magnus wanted to taste his blood and he’s pleased by it, even if he doesn’t know why. However before he can ask Magnus smirks and Alexander frowns, eyes narrowing as if he can sense the danger in Magnus’ glee.

Magnus leans forward and murmurs a name swallowed by an unholy scream that echoes in the room with a gust of wind before it’s gone.

Alexander’s eyes are wide, staring at Magnus as if he’s appointed up a rift to a void realm, rather than just claim Alexander in the most basic of fae truths.

“You’re not supposed to know that name.” Alexander snaps out of his surprise, a scowl forming on his plush lips. “That name was eaten by time for a reason, Magnus. It’s not my fate to know that life. I don’t want anything to do with it.”

“But it’s my fate to claim it. All the possibilities and truths of it, though I will never again speak it if you wish.”

Magnus kisses him again and despite his irritation Alexander kisses back, as if he’s just been waiting this whole time for Magnus to move forward and claim another taste.

After a moment Alexander bites his mouth, pulling back and looking at him with a sigh. “Don’t say that name again, Malphas. I don’t want to know it.”

Alexander kisses sweetly this time, tender and untamed under Magnus’ bruising grip and teeth. The declaration that he knows the name Magnus’ father gave him rather than the name Magnus chose isn’t a surprise.

But it delightful, how he speaks Magnus name without fear. Just after Magnus spoke his own.

However now that Magnus has said it, tasted and claimed it, he can promise never to speak of its existence again, just as Alexander wishes.

It’s a quiet vow that Magnus swears as Alexander kisses his jaw and cheeks. Magnus seals it with his mouth, kissing Alexander until he’s whining against him, mouth panting in open supplication against Magnus’ own.

It’s with a desperate need that Magnus uses magic to shove away the desk and scatter books, no matter how old or valuable they are. Alexander’s pants open under his touch, the butter-smooth leather parting under fingers until he can touch skin and bare Alexander’s cock to the air.

Magnus doesn’t let Alexander overthink it.  

The fact that Magnus knows his name even if he vowed it away, or that he’s about to taste him. Magnus doesn’t bother with foreplay, swallowing around Alexander and humming deep in his throat. Teasing Alexander’s balls with his fingers and using just a hint of teeth when he can.

There’s a vine that peeks out from under Alexander’s shirt, following down his happy trail to disappear in a curl of leaves on the crease of his groin.  It’s branded to Alexander’s skin in a tattoo that shimmers and Magnus’ nails bite into it.  Alexander gasps, hands tight in Magnus’ hair but neither pulling him away or complaining.  Instead he squirms, hips trying to thrust from where he’s pinned between the chair and Magnus’ hands and magic.

“Magnus, your tongue. Fuck I wouldn’t even care if your piercing was iron the way it feels.” Alexander groans and then he whines in complaint as Magnus stays still. A heel kicks at Magnus thigh and Magnus uses magic to keep Alexander’s legs still and snared to the chair even as Alexander writhes and swears at him in a variety of fae curses.

He can’t fuck Magnus’ throat the way he desperately wants to like this, can only sit there and take it as Magnus teases him. 

When he’s done Alexander won’t be able to look at Magnus’ mouth without imaging it on him, on his cock and his skin and marking him with his teeth.

Alexander whines as Magnus flicks the ball-piercing on his tongue against his slit and then groans when Magnus pulls back, spit and precome connecting them until Magnus licks his lips.

“Don’t you taste divine,” Magnus chuckles, flicking out his tongue and smirking as Alexander’s gaze is drawn to the piercing and his mouth. “Kiss me, sweetheart?”

Alexander bends down, kissing him desperately, tasting himself on Magnus’ tongue until the magic pushes him back, pinning him down again. 

“I can’t be so greedy and not share. You’ve probably never tasted yourself. Have you?” Alexander shakes his head and looks like he can’t decide between demanding another kiss or Magnus’ mouth back on his dick.  Luckily for him, Magnus has already picked for both of them what to do.

“Magnus!”

Alexander’s voice is desperate and he whines when Magnus rubs his cheek against Alexander’s cock. His sweet boy keens when stubble catches on sensitive skin and he whines in relief when the burn is soothed with Magnus’ tongue.

Magnus takes him back in his mouth, swallowing him down to the base, until his nose presses against Alexander’s shirt and his boy can feel every swallow and pulse of his throat around him.

Alexander comes helplessly, fingers tight like bands around Magnus’ wrists from where he’s pinned Alexander’s thighs open with his hands.

Alexander holds onto him as if clinging tightly to Magnus can keep him anchored as Magnus swallows around him. Ignoring when Alexander murmurs his name and then the louder pleas for him to stop as they turn into a series of demanding threats and curses even as Alexander does nothing to actually stop him.  They both know he could and would, if he didn’t ache and yearn at the feeling of Magnus unraveling him to the core.

It isn’t until Alexander is trembling beneath him, thighs shaking and soaked with sweat and pants drenched that Magnus stops and looks up.

Alexander glares at him, face flushed and eyes shiny with tears.  His lips are swollen from where he’s bitten them and he’s looking down like Magnus is a god trying to destroy him.

Magnus chuckles, mouth full of Alexander’s soft cock and the last bit of come he’s coaxed from him and slowly pulls off.  Alexander tugs at him instantly. Pulling him into a kiss and yanking on Magnus until he’s up and in Alexander’s lap. Both of them ignore how Alexander hisses in pain from overstimulation as Magnus settles against him. Alexander’s sensitive, flaccid cock pinned between his own open pants and Magnus’ denim.

It can’t be comfortable but Alexander is more interested in licking the taste of his own come from Magnus’ mouth, whimpering against him every time Magnus shifts but only pulling him closer. 

Even when he whines like he’s going to cry again.

Magnus grinds his hips, deliberately trapping and teasing Alexander’s cock and his boy keens into their kiss. Nails an angry bite on Magnus’ neck even as Alexander only deepens the kiss.  Clearly uncaring about anything beyond the connection of their lips.

There’s a tie between them, something delicate and subtle enough that unless you know it’s there, you couldn’t find it.

Technically it shouldn’t work like this, but Magnus knows exactly what he’s doing and even this small but powerful strand is only the beginning.

Magnus has earned blood, found a name and now he’s taken a taste. 

He’s drunk straight from a well of unimaginable power and let it christen his throat and body and claimed it for himself, as if drinking from a fountain in the fae realm.

It weaves the ties between them, equal strands forming in chains from Magnus to Alexander and from Alexander to Magnus. As Magnus ensures that by the end of this, they cannot be torn from each other.

—

AN:

Alec is something of a virgin in this fic for several reasons. He’s demisexual and he gets all the platonic cuddles he wants from his family and a few friends. Like Alec isn’t touch starved, he’s completely healthy with tons of mostly healthy emotional relationships that also have a physical component. 

He’s experimented a little, this certainly isn’t his first kiss and he’s done some handjobs/grinding etc but he’s picky about who he kisses/experiments with and because of a lack of interest on his part it never goes far. Its just he typically has better things to do than kiss people or try and fuck around. He actually has more important things to do than kiss magnus rn, however his priorities are a bit skewed now and thats okay because he likes kissing magnus which raises the priority. He just kind of tolerated/enjoyed it before when he tried it out. 

No one shames him for this. Arawn would be very happy if none of his kids developed romantic feelings for other people and just fucked or didn’t fuck based on what they need/want. So Alec is very comfortable with himself and he’s interested in Magnus which makes him interested in sex with Magnus.

Also you’re not supposed to eat or drink what a fae offers you. Magnus is very secretly creating invisible webs of oaths and magics, overlapping truth and reality with myth and also words of power and string of fate and reality. So in this moment, because of how Magnus framed the situation, he technically just consumed something from a fae (even tho alec isn’t truly fae it counts because his nature is similar enough) and bound them together because it technically gives alec power over magnus. Just like magnus gained power over alec with the knowledge of his name and they gained equal understanding/power of each other when tasting their blood.

It doesn’t all fully come together just yet.

This is just one strand of the web magnus is currently weaving. And this web has to end up being a mirror image on both sides because any weakness, discrepancy, imbalance and arawn could destroy it.

[jb-nonsense]

The amount of times I've wanted to kill myself this year is probably a personal record

[fantasmadelaciudad]

i'll be honest thinking about las vegas makes me nauseous.

[mwagneto]

david thewlis holmes trailer right after cbs's matt berry holmes it's like there's a competition for worst holmes casting

[xoxoemynn]

gonna call out of work tomorrow due to a severe case of feeling tender as hell

[whentherewerebicycles]

.

[rolandkaros]

sorry and now im just thinking about fanfic but i think my relationship to reading fanfic has changed so much now that im writing more and i kind of hate it because i feel like i cant read without feeling guilty that im not writing. like if i have time to read it then surely i have time to write it. which is not really fair to myself because reading (especially fanfic) takes way less mental energy for me than writing so i can read when im tired or distracted or busy or whatever but i cant write unless my body and brain are literally in perfect condition. but the result is that i feel so guilty about reading that i basically just reread old fics these days and dont read anything new because that is somehow worse (?) than rereading something ive read before which makes zero logical sense but thats the way it is. but then even logging on to ao3 stresses me out because i feel like im being a bad member of the community per se bc i havent read up on the latest stuff. which is literally so dumb! like so ridiculous and i know it doesnt make any sense at all but i cant help feeling bad about it anyway. ive read like three new fics since december.

[archiveofourpwn]

.

[youjustcannotknow]

the weight of the world has crushed me flat on this fine afternoon

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

hey so my church is doing a youth group camping trip this weekend that's been in the plans literally since the beginning of the year, but now that we're in the final stretch, the weather is looking really really iffy. could y'all just pray if you don't mind that by some miracle the weather will be okay so this trip can go forward as planned?

[repotting]

I think I might be getting close to admitting that my food issues are nearing some kind of crisis point haha

[ananxiousgenz]

.

[theood]

Getting really tired how every time I mention talking to someone new my mom's like "omg lol! Move in with them! Lol! Have you thought about moving in with them? Lol? Will they take you? Lol. We're so tired of you complaining lol can you just move in with them? Lol!"

Like. Wow! I never fucking thought of that one! Damn mom! Wow!!!! Revolutionary.

It's so fucking annoying because if I COULD actually move out don't you think I would have done it now? Hell. I'd be towns away if I could. Anything to get out of this fucking house. Away from your parents. Away from the constant walking on eggshells I'm doing. Away from feeling like the only way I'll be safe is by ripping myself open until I'm raw and used. But I CAN'T.

And every fucking time like clockwork it's "oh move in with x lol!"

[starlit-mansion]

idk i've kind of been going through a phase lately where i feel like everyone around me has these unfathomable pits of passion for stuff (even if exhaustion/disability/burnout keeps them from doing as much as they'd want) and i am a distractible dabbler who never gets things done and never feels anything deeply. like i'm just kind of a placeholder person and YEAH that's mostly the depression talking but actually commiting to the stuff that i havent researched or proven myself about is probably the actual way to achieve that effortless expertise that everyone else seems to have

[mishkakagehishka]

Me when i dream of lil Mika but it's another nightmare