#I'm stressed I'm stressed I'm stressed and feel trapped

[revelboo]

https://www.tumblr.com/revelboo/781814785013612544/the-thought-of-reader-feeling-blaster-up?source=share

Kinda obsessed with this because ? Like? He pushes those buttons all the damn time? During battle? Girl are u jerking off??? While fighting the autobots?????

Soundwave lock in challenge IMPOSSIBLE. he's such a fuckin freak, I'm obsessed with him

🤣 let him have his stress relief. Poor guy’s the backbone of the Decepticon cause and he’s just over there “supervising” the battle. Let him be a freak- he’s so burnt out 24/7 dealing with this nonsense that he needs it. 🔞 mass displaced mech 🌶️

Stress relief

Soundwave x Reader

• Servos tangling in your hair, his denta are gritted behind his mask as he faces the screen. Listening to Megatron ranting about the latest skirmish with the Autobots. Neither side ready to openly start the war back up in full swing yet, but more than happy to harass each other and sabotage supply lines. And there’s no sense in pointing out that he’d been against this latest endeavor since Megatron hadn’t listened then and definitely doesn’t want to hear it now. Swallowing a growl, his hips flex.

• Hands wrapped around his spike as you kneel between his thighs, your head bobs to swallow a bit more of him and his thighs tremble slightly. Attention focused on Megatron throwing a hissy fit as you play with his spike. And his servos lazily tunnel into your hair as he rumbles so softly you can barely hear it. Head lifting, you blow against the head of his spike just to make his hips twitch. To try and break his control.

• Swallowing a growl as you run the flat of your tongue along the underside of his spike, fingers tracing his biolights and ridges, it’s all he can do to not move. And he stiffens when you look up at him, brushing a kiss against the head of his spike before swallowing the head again. Those eyes looking up at him the entire time as you run the flat of your tongue against him. And Megatron’s silent. Staring at him. “Surveillance efforts and our scouts have uncovered a potential mining operation to exploit,” he growls, venting hitching when you let the head of his spike pop past your lips and press you body up between his thighs, trapping his spike against soft skin and rubbing against him.

• Other than his head slightly tipping, he’s still so carefully in control as you grind and wiggle against him. And there it is, his servos gripping the edge of his desk hard enough he’s denting the metal, that other hand on your head still so gentle. Only halfway paying attention to the conversation on the screen, you laugh when he pushes his chair back and pulls you up by your arms. Hear Star’s furious growl as you’re pinned on his desk on your belly and he buries his spike inside you.

• Keeping his attention on the screen and your other two mates attending the command meeting, he ruts against you in deep, hard drives of his hips. Struggling to lay out the details while spike deep inside you, hips pumping. And Megatron’s grinning crookedly, leaning his chin on his fist. No longer listening, but then the warlord rarely listens. So he focuses on the Seeker’s furious demands to return you as his hips snap against you, overloading hard.

[kk-iki]

it's been a long time coming, but. . .

enough is enough. i think i've moved in relative silence when it comes to some of the more odd things that occur in this fandom, but one instance in particular is giving me pause. this honestly feels like something better suited for a substack essay, but i'll hold off on that since i think everyone in this specific sub - tumblr ( ? ) should hear this first.

i feel like so much of the call of duty fandom is trapped in a constant woman - hating epidemic.

and i don't just mean 'oh, there's barely any female character x reader content, there's nothing for the girls who like girls'. that's an entirely different issue i may or may not bring up later.

i'm talking about how a good majority of the writing i read in this fandom is so geared towards men. and i don't mean that there's a surplus of male reader content, because there really isn't. i mean that there's so many fics i read that are drenched in the light of 'doe - eyed, pouty, submissive woman who is always eager to please her man, and the idea that the man may be eager to please her in return is such an incredibly radical concept'.

i click on any 'x reader' tag in this fandom, and i'm met with a tidal wave of two specific archetypes;

the doe - eyed, pouty, submissive fem reader who is always eager to please her man and gets off on him essentially treating her like property, or. . .

a reader who has no character. no structure. no personality. a reader who is meant to be vague enough to where the actual reader can neatly insert themselves into their shoes, but at the cost of any innate substance or realness. a reader who is essentially just a placeholder in words.

somehow, inexplicably, it's more often than not the first.

write and read for this fandom long enough, and you'll see what i see in droves. the attention that is lavished on writing within this fandom is relegated to the specific archetype of the tradwife who knows nothing but to cook for her husband and be a willing conduit for his post - deployment stress relief.

and what truly infuriates me the most is that it will be these kinds of writers who are so adamantly against the idea of tradwives. yes, you say you're against it, but can your words hold up when your writing is essentially tradwife propaganda in disguise?

and it just irks me so badly when these mentalities infiltrate the characters themselves. today's specific instance of this was when i was scrolling through the könig x reader tag and i came across this one headcanon list that advertised itself as "loser!könig". nothing innately malicious, of course, but then i saw the tags.

'but also, he's a sucker for the wife, which makes him a loser. say it with me now.'

i want to make it known that i mean no ill intent towards the original author of this specific headcanon list. i don't want any vitriol to be directed at them because i'm speaking my mind about this fandom as a whole. it most likely was meant to be an affectionate, "haha, he's such a malewife loser"-esque endearment. but this set of tags just. . .baffled me.

. . .because when did it become loser - like or a loser - adjacent trait to be a sucker for your wife?

this isn't even the first instance of this. i've seen it before, the way this fandom—sometimes subtly, sometimes unintentionally—pushes this narrative that has been setting us back decades. the idea that there is not only a beauty standard that women must live up to in order to be considered desirable by men, but there is also a mentality that a woman must have in addition.

there's another fic that i read, a 141 x reader one if memory serves me correctly. it featured a reader who was insecure about her appearance, which is absolutely nothing to frown upon. what startled me, though, was the fact that the author themselves referred to the reader as 'ugly'.

the reader is a single mother. she is stated in the fic to have love handles, breakouts, and a thick waist. she has messy hair and wears baggy clothes and has dark undereye circles. she required the love and special attention of four conventionally attractive men who moved in next door in order to feel beautiful.

she is said, by the author in the precluding note, to be meant as a way to 'show some love to readers who feel ugly, instead of petite girly readers'.

as if people with these traits should feel ugly. as if people with these traits cannot be girly.

i understand i may be reading too much into this. i may be making a mountain out of a molehill. but i'm angry about this and this is my blog and you've read this far, so clearly you want to see where this goes.

and this is where it's going.

i spoke about this briefly in a server i'm in and am extremely fond of—shoutout to the shitheads.

i said, quote: "are you nothing but a slave to the whims of a patriarchal society’s dictation on how someone must present in order to be considered desirable? or are you willingly feeding into this at the risk of the self image of so many beautiful people who cannot recognize their own enchanting presences because of people like you howling at them in your sweetest voice that they are anything but?"

i also said: "have you considered the reason for that might be because she’s a recluse and doesn’t go outside apart from making sure her child is getting sufficient vitamin d and is thus making assumptions about what people will think of her on the basis of one bad man’s words to her?"

maybe she doesn't feel ugly because you think the traits she has are ugly. maybe she feels ugly because she doesn't socialize. maybe, instead of just leaving that in the subtext, you should have started with that.

the writer, if i recall correctly, was a woman. by the way. which makes this worse.

it is so difficult for me to understand how the women in this fandom can be so cruel to each other, even implicitly. from the way we're written in reader - insert fics to how we react to each others' ocs and creations. . .it's just so disheartening.

more than anything, it makes me wonder how someone like me—a lesbian who exclusively writes women for women and tries to veer away from the reader and the character falling into any one archetype—is going to find any sort of platform in this fandom.

the bottom line is that there is so much casual misogyny in this fandom. frankly, i'm a little sick of it.

one might think i'm making a big deal out of this. i know. i'm being a killjoy, i'm being a hater, i won't let anyone have any fun. but we need to remember a couple of key points here:

art is always political because there is no way to create something without a modicum of bias.

the politics promoted by the art in this fandom—specifically, the writing—are pushing an agenda that has been consistently used to strip women of their rights and needs for decades.

most of these writers are women themselves.

obviously, there's nothing wrong with a submissive woman. obviously, the characters in call of duty that are most featured in reader - insert content are canonically framed in a lens that makes it seem like they would be the kind of men to only enjoy this kind of woman. obviously, not everyone in this fandom indulges this.

but it occurs enough. and it sets us back.

and i'm sick of it.

thank you for reading this far, and for hearing out what i have to say. i promise i don't do this often—but i also promise that i absolutely should. i love you.

kiki x

[cook-a-little-chicken]

Sorry About My Nan

That was an intense longform. And I have some thoughts:

Firstly, umm... can they not carry chairs normally? Both of them dragging it slowly like that made me laugh. Anyway-

The entire thing was amazing but especially those first few scenes. Such good acting from the get-go! Was this the longest it took for them to establish a storyline in a longform? It felt very "this is the last time I'm doing this" 😂

Luke breaking Sam and AJ with his truly realistic characterisation and "I just feel shattered, you know?" was brilliant

By my count, this is the third time AJ tells Sam to be quiet: "sorry when I fish, I like silence", "silence when hoop", "I just need like- just a bit of- quiet"

"You've got so many teeth." What is it with Tom and teeth? ("hey, I've got everything you've got, but I've also got several more teeth")

Aww Tom trying so hard not to laugh at Luke's "Have you given her adrenaline?"

Sam and AJ simultaneously pointing and saying "that/this way" to the bathroom somehow makes me laugh. Cos they're stressed out and there's this farmhand joyfully looking for his sheep. And Luke making himself laugh at his own sheep vs farmhand interaction is cute

Aahh Tom's facial expressions throughout were incredible!

"Not one seat each." I see Tom's enjoying inconveniencing the others

Not the subtitles calling Sam out on the "numchucks" 😂

Luke was lying face first on the floor for almost 6 minutes. I was initially wondering how Luke didn't break as a corpse, but you can see his body moving as he silently (and sometimes audibly) laughs. It's really cute and he laughs a lot throughout it's kinda funny

Tom was so good as the German stage person (Emcee?) with the incredible physical performance and expressions! Him and Krampus were so similar but so different, I'm in awe

The almost perfect symmetry of Sam and AJ laughing at Tom's "meine little liebchen" 😂

Sam shouting "numchucks numchucks numchucks" as he hits AJ with them is the funniest thing ever. Worse, I'd say, than the "bang bang bang" he called Luke out on in All Eyes on Nigel

AJ's delivery of "I recently found out that my nana is like a cult leader for people in Germany. And that, umm, is so weird" is absolutely stellar. And Luke's movements and smiles as Julie/Lucy were so subtly eerie from the beginning it was wonderful

They managed to stop the "stag"s perfectly, what great intuition!

Tom's "eh!" and shirt throw 😂 I was surprised he had a shirt on at the end

I can't explain it, and it was probably unintentional, but the wedding scene felt like it was still part of the fake scenario tests. Like stepping out almost from behind a curtain to "out there" together, hand-in-hand, and then immediately reaching the altar instead of the bride having the traditional long walk? Then Sam's speech about the mic amplifying which almost sounds like something you'd imagine in a dream or in your head, followed immediately by "I do" when they weren't even asked the question?

They're going to Bergheim straight after, meaning Ethel's successfully indoctrinated them both into her cult. And AJ's best friend isn't there. Was that cos Sam kept questioning Ethel and her methods? Was he banished from the cult? What's happened to him? If it was a normal wedding, you'd expect him to be there. Especially cos they keep reiterating that they're "best friend"s

I'm sure it's supposed to be a happy story but it feels more horror/psychological thriller to me, where the characters think they've reached their happy ending but in reality they're trapped now

[mosseroleplay]

Ferdinand the Fisher Prowler (DoL OC)

cw: violence

Alex tells you that he doesn't know where Ferdinand goes on most nights. Though, if you reach 30% love stat with Ferdinand, you might gain a glimpse into his activities.

If you leave Darryl's Club at 3am Thurs-Sat, you may trigger an event where you notice some of Ferdinand's overzealous fans following him. They had been harrassing Ferdinand for private services all night, but he consistently denied them.

If you decide to intervene, you'll find that your help was never needed. He's beating down his attackers with a red pipe wrench, reducing them to twitching, bloody pulp on the ground. Ferdinand notices you and approaches. His eyes are wild and he's smiling strangely.

"Hello! Do you need an escort home?"

Agree and Ferdinand will take you home, holding his bloody pipe wrench the entire time. You are not certain whether to feel safe or frightened. Before he departs, he tells you the following:

"It's never safe in this city. Day or night, it doesn't matter."

+stress

Alternately, if you're attacked in the city between 3am-5am and call for help, Ferdinand may come to your rescue. He will psychotically fend off your attacker with a his pipe wrench and guide you home. You have no choice but to listen to one of his many unsettling ramblings:

"Did you know, some people don't die no matter how many times you kill them?" "Stay away from anyone who says they know or work for The Collector." "There's a lot of people who live here who pretend to be human. I can always tell who they are because of the way they smell." "Too bad we're all trapped here, huh? Gotta make due with what we have." "If you see a very tall man in a black hat, run the other way."

+stress If your love stat is over 80%, an option appears where you can ask Ferdinand what he's doing out this late. He'll pause, and cryptically replies:

"I'm trying to get rid of some pests. But the darndest thing happens. They always come back good as new. Sometimes I think I'm going crazy."

[withallthingslove]

Love your predictions so far! Any new ones now that we’ve seen 5 episodes?

I answered my overall episode predictions in a different ask here, so I'm going to use yours to go through what I think the betrayal will be, how that could affect future episodes, and more predictions for episodes 6-7.

So over the next two episodes I think June and Moira will be taken to Lawrence's, and then they possibly end up at Nick's (or possibly Rita or Serena's places), or they split up with June hiding at a house and Moira hiding at a different one. Nick and June will confess or have some sort of reaffirmation of their feelings.

I also think by the episode's end, they will be at odds with each other over the rebellion and June's efforts and Nick's place in Gilead. Which leads to Nick telling June in Gilead you have to "count on yourself."

Moira picking up on this or Moira seeing June distraught over the betrayal will lead to them having a conversation about June's feelings

June, like Lawrence and Aunt Lydia, wants Janine out of Jezebels more than she wants the Mayday plan to work. I could see them trying to bring in Lawrence and Aunt Lydia to their plans. Lawrence might be compelled to help to kill the commanders who want to kill him, and Aunt Lydia will want to help Janine.

I think it's also possible Nick and June have a mini mission of their own, or they have to hide together at some point

Possible ideas:

They are hiding because Wharton and Rose come back early

They have to try and get June out somewhere safer (maybe back to the Boston Globe if they can't get to the border or the Mayday camp)

They go back to Jezebels to get the map and/or Janine. It's clear Aunt Lydia, Lawrence, and June all want Janine out of there more than anything. It's a wishful thinking idea, but they have to start Aunt Lydia and Lawrence being more active with the resistance before the final episodes.

The Betrayal:

For the betrayal, I think what happens is that Nick stops the plan at jezebels from happening and rounds up/arrests the jezebels involved (which is why Janine is picked up by a guardian in a teaser and why she is back in a handmaids uniform later on), and he closes the trade routes to NB.

While I hope Janine is somehow safely sent back to Aunt Lydia, if she is captured this will go back on June's promise to her. It will also possibly put Luke in danger (hurting June), and trap Rita in NB/Gilead (hurting June).

But I think there are multiple ways this could go down and multiple consequences:

June asks Nick for help, but he doesn't help: Maybe June asks Nick to go back to Jezebels to retrieve the map and stuff from the safe to get to Mark/Mayday. He takes her back to the Mayday base or the Boston Globe, or her and Moira go hide together at the Red Center, but instead of getting the map for her he shuts the operation down instead. And June finds out she has to go hide somewhere else, or she finds out while she's already hiding somewhere else.

Nick already knows about the plan: June fills Nick in on the plan but he already knows because of the Eyes and he's already made the decision to stop it which he hides from her. June finds out while she's with him in real time (like if they are hiding together and overhear something in the screenshots above) that Nick already sent guardians to jezebels and closed the trade route. This would be peak drama and more of a "reveal." If this happens, I could see Aunt Lydia having to maybe rescue June from Jezebels or NB and take her to the Red Center. But I don't see Nick endangering June while she's with him.

Nick finds out about the plan and if forced to shut it down: I could see that Nick is feeling stressed hiding June and Moira and deciding how to help, and then he gets intel about the plan or a guardian gets to the safe before them. And this forces him to act to protect NB and possibly prevent other casualties because he can't let something like this happen after already killing the guardians. So it's less of him choosing to "side" with Gilead, but more that his position as a Commander makes him have to choose between June and his duties as a Commander while before he always used being a Commander to help June. But now it's inevitable that they are clashed.

Future Consequences:

June obviously will have a huge emotional fallout but will be inspired to do the wedding attack

Aunt Lydia and Lawrence could be in trouble if Nick's actions reveal that they were conspiring to help get Janine out of Jezebels. If this is the case Lawrence has nothing to lose and he agrees to work with Tuello

Nick's allegiance is solidified with Wharton at least for an episode, and maybe he seeks Wharton's guidance on what to do

Closing the NB trade routes could effectively send all the residents back into Gilead or accelerate the commanders dismantling it

This could tie into Serena trying to still reform Gilead (that scene where she is standing next to D'Arcy Carden's aunt wearing the shirt with a sparkly neckline) through NB ideals but it being an uphill battle

I think Aunt Lydia yelling "where is June Osborne?" is a ruse of some kind. Maybe in episode 6, but most likely after the wedding when the handmaids are on the run. But it's then discovered Aunt Lydia has been working with June since episode 6, and she is forced to the gallows as well

Other thoughts I can't piece together consecutively:

I don't see June spending a week in NB until the plan goes underway, so my gut says that she is there for a night or two especially since episode 6 is so short.

For the betrayal, I'm also curious if she will find out in real time while with Nick and have the chance to confront him and argue with him, or if it will be like season 3 where she finds something out and then is left to deal with the fallout alone.

This whole time I'd been assuming that she will be at the Boston Globe after being at Nick's, as that would make sense that she is in Boston already for Serena's wedding. But maybe June and Moira have to go back to the Red Center after the betrayal derails things. this would introduce them to D'Arcy Carden's character and would set up the scenes of making the new Handmaids outfits and compiling the packs of knives. I'd originally imagined that happening at the Boston Globe

[jb-nonsense]

The amount of times I've wanted to kill myself this year is probably a personal record

[fantasmadelaciudad]

i'll be honest thinking about las vegas makes me nauseous.

[mwagneto]

david thewlis holmes trailer right after cbs's matt berry holmes it's like there's a competition for worst holmes casting

[xoxoemynn]

gonna call out of work tomorrow due to a severe case of feeling tender as hell

[whentherewerebicycles]

.

[rolandkaros]

sorry and now im just thinking about fanfic but i think my relationship to reading fanfic has changed so much now that im writing more and i kind of hate it because i feel like i cant read without feeling guilty that im not writing. like if i have time to read it then surely i have time to write it. which is not really fair to myself because reading (especially fanfic) takes way less mental energy for me than writing so i can read when im tired or distracted or busy or whatever but i cant write unless my body and brain are literally in perfect condition. but the result is that i feel so guilty about reading that i basically just reread old fics these days and dont read anything new because that is somehow worse (?) than rereading something ive read before which makes zero logical sense but thats the way it is. but then even logging on to ao3 stresses me out because i feel like im being a bad member of the community per se bc i havent read up on the latest stuff. which is literally so dumb! like so ridiculous and i know it doesnt make any sense at all but i cant help feeling bad about it anyway. ive read like three new fics since december.

[archiveofourpwn]

.

[youjustcannotknow]

the weight of the world has crushed me flat on this fine afternoon

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

hey so my church is doing a youth group camping trip this weekend that's been in the plans literally since the beginning of the year, but now that we're in the final stretch, the weather is looking really really iffy. could y'all just pray if you don't mind that by some miracle the weather will be okay so this trip can go forward as planned?

[repotting]

I think I might be getting close to admitting that my food issues are nearing some kind of crisis point haha

[ananxiousgenz]

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